Unbeknownst to most of my friends and family, for the last seventeen years I have been scraping into mason jars the dirt from underneath my toenails, the plaque from my teeth and nightly harvested dandruff from my scalp. Two months ago I finally started my life's work of building my son's Godfather a pressed-earth constructed adobe style house from the material. I have exactly one quarter of one bathroom wall completed. It shouldn't be long before we have a full structure heated by a human waste biofuel. Happy Birthday Old Friend. You are the light of my life, the ice in my glass, the chip in my tooth. You can see how much I really think of you here or maybe here or perhaps here or possibly here or here or here.
If these little snippets are not enough for the general public, you can see the birthday boy at work here and here.