WORKS ON DIGITAL PAPER

The train is full. I usually don't take the train at this time. Earlier or later, but never now. There are a group of three women in their late twenties talking loudly. They sound like they just got out of the slammer. One of them is detailing how when you pee in the cup you have to give it to them quick before it gets cold because they won't accept it cold. If the light turns green you have waited too long and you have to pee again. At Essex, the train really fills up. The lady over the speaker says to make space, move in. I slide over in front of one of the three loud women. There is a vague smell of Chinese fried chicken, but only vague. The train starts to move again. Loud Woman Number Three, sitting in front of me, starts to roll her eyes and shift in her seat, making huffing, uncomfortable noises. She mumbles to herself and her shoulders start to shake as she pulls the unzipped right-hand portion of her gray Jamaica hoodie over her mouth and nose. Something, she is intimating, smells foul. I can feel the heat rise up my neck. My body's temperature rises a couple degrees. I am thankful for my big beard and my long hair. Maybe that will hide the redness of my face. I wonder if I smell bad. I am feeling super, super self-conscious. Maybe my jeans, which I rarely wash, smell like sour milk. Maybe my shoes smell like old socks. Maybe the garlic I ate on Sunday night is seeping out of my rapidly moistening pores. She is gagging, convulsing like a revival victim, praise the Lord! Grimacing, holding the sweatshirt over her nose like there is mustard gas in the car, gas masks on! My stop. I hustle out. I know Loud Woman Number Three is going to crack up when I leave. I know it. I step out of the train with the stream and hear her cackle, her friends cackle. I try to walk with committed nonchalance. Not too committed.
At home, I smell every article of clothing. I smell my breath and my armpits. Nothing smells wrong. I ask Marina, she says I smell good.
Later we would go to a friend's new pizza restaurant out on Halsey. The place would be loaded with jolly Italians. Later still, I would go up to the park and play in a co-ed soccer game. I play badly but we tie four four. After that, I would go to Mark's cafe and drink a beer with Big Dan and Mark. Back at home last night, finally, I would take a shower and scrub myself very, very clean.