If I am not careful, this thing (hands raised motioning as if to convey the whole room, voice shaking mildly as the arms turn haphazards circles in the air) could turn into some sort of film review blog.
Such is the nature of digitally organic thinking.
This Weekend's Movies To See, Movies To See and Then Wish You Hadn't:
Thumbsucker -DVD
Hipsters love Jim Jarmush. Hipsters love Steven Shore. Hipsters love velvet paintings of wolves. Hipsters love to hate Keanu Reeves which means they really love Keanu Reeves and know it. Hipsters hate hipsters but only really feel comfortable with other hipsters. Hipsters love music videos and long drawn out awkward scenes. Hipsters love scenes of good looking movie stars bleeding out their anuses. Hipsters love Eliott Smith, especially when he sings that super hip old 70's song about being 13 years old. I guess at this point I ought to clarify. I consider anyone between the ages of 20something and 30something who has worn Converse Chuck Taylors or All Stars or One Stars or anything with a "star" anywhere in the shoe title a hipster. Also, if you are of this aproximate age and have worked in any artistic capacity under any auspice in the last five years. Or if you listen to music. Any music. Yes, you are a hipster. You understand why sweaters with reindeers on them are funny. For an instant, whether you will admit it or not, trucker hats made some sort of sense as a smart ass remark 5 to 7 years ago. Sorry if you think you are too uncool to be a hipster. That is the very nexus of hipsterdom. Sorry if you think you are too truly punk rock to be a hipster. You are not. Sorry sorry sorry. In fact, the classic sign of being a hipster is the intense desire to not be a hipster while wanting to enjoy every sardonic quote and ironic observation. With that much being said (and now I have gotten personal) you should hate Thumbsucker. With every fiber of your body. There are more and more movies coming out just like it. You ought to be wary of them too. Probably anything in the last few years that has Bill Murray in it. Probably anything that has reoccuring montages of abstract still scenes or quirky music set to bizarre interstitials. Mike Mills taps into your aesthetic so completely, so ultimately, with such meaningfully shallow remorse, that you will break down and realize that your whole ironic, self-congratulatory anti-intellectual anti-Republican thing is just a sham. This movie is your bhodi tree. Watch it. Hate it.
The Aristrocrats-DVD
You know the story of this film. The oldest joke in the world talked about ad nauseum. Almost nothing is non-circumstantially funny. Except maybe George Carlin. The most interesting thing about this movie, and the only reason you maybe should see it (and I stress maybe, perhaps, if you are totally unbeholden to doing anything else) is to watch how much funnier nearly all the female comedians are than the male ones. The guys blow. The ladies come much closer to being actually funny. For me, it was illuminating.
The Castle- DVD
Ok. This is was a recycle. I have seen this film a few times before. But I needed it. I really needed it. After being nearly obliterated by the charade of Thumbsucker I needed something to make me feel human again. If you haven't seen this film, and by this film I mean the Australian comedy about a touchingly backwards family battling to save their house, then you need to go out there and rent it. Now. Go. You will feel better about everything. I nearly rented Heartlands to fulfill the same job, but I think this one got me through the self-loathing faster.
Wheel of Time- DVD
A Herzogumentary about a big Buddhist celebration involving a sand mandala. An interesting film which at its best, makes discipline into an art form and at its worst, make the Dalai Lama (sp?) out to be a baffoon. I mean, maye he is a baffoon. He's only human. And I have yet to meet or watch a non-idiotic sounding human.
Night Watch- Theater
A campy vampiro-apocalipto-heaven-hell super flick from Russia. If you like vampire movies or movies about the end of the earth or movies about good and evil (am I sounding redundant?) or films with cheesy but efficacious special effects or listening to Russian or reading subtitles or scenes with lots of crows or medieval battles or just if you want a laugh: go see this film. I had a ball. My wife didn't like it as much. But then again, I think she may have liked Thumbsucker. Go figure.
I am not going to spell check this one.
Because I am a hipster.
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