Holistic Healing

On Saturday I defied a direct missive from my wife and played soccer instead of going to Pilates.
I played with a whole gaggle of good natured Argentines and Arabs and played well enough to fool them into thinking I am a mediocre soccer player.
In the last moments of our third game I thought I would prove my worth by displaying, out of context, my once generous leaping ability trying to head a ball sent far over my head.
This ended with predictably predictable results with me winging my head to and fro trying vainly to get a touch of the ball and effectively giving myself whiplash.
When I got back home Saturday afternoon to a stern and unsympathetic wife, I could barely move my head.
Of course things got only worse the next morning after a fitful night of bad dreams and uncomfortable positions.
Only after a good 18 hours of agony did my wife finally take pity on me and prescribe a healing solution: she called her crazy Cranial-Sacral therapist friend Jacob.

I lay down on Jacob's table and he starts working around my neck to see what the problem is. Not much going on, just a little feeling here and a little feeling there. After about 20 minutes of this my neck still feels super tight and it seems like nothing is going to get fixed.
Then he starts working around my abdomen and moving my legs around and having me breathe into my lower back and twisting my hips this way and that, totally ignoring my neck altogether. He does this for an hour and starts to explain to me that since I had recently taken a long flight to Africa and back, all my insides were pressurized all wrong and it was putting extra air pressure through my esophagus. When I stretched my neck out to reach the ball, the esophagus was too tight due to all this extra pressure in my intestines. This lack of flexibility put stress on my muscles and bone structure and put my upper back into spasms.
He worked on my belly for another 10 minutes or so, prescribed some breathing exercises and when I sat up, my neck was all loosey goosey.

Somehow, it all makes sense.